We Three Are Me
A man eats a peach on a bench. A man reads a magazine on an airplane. A pregnant woman lowers herself into a hot bath.
The man on the bench has obsessive compulsive disorder. The man on the airplane is illiterate. The pregnant woman is so ripe she could pop at any moment.
Two young women in black spandex and white laces jog past the man on the bench. One of them farts loudly. The man on the bench drops the chewed peach onto his clean trousers. He has a bus to catch.
A starched flight attendant with yellow hair and small breasts clicks a wet smile and asks the man on the plane if he wants a drink. He holds up a finger and pretends to finish reading an article. The plane bucks wildly and the flight attendant snaps away like a tablecloth in the hands of a clumsy magician.
The woman in the tub closes her eyes and then opens them. A peeping Tom looks in the window. He has silly eyes and a thin mustache. The woman sees him and splashes. She screams one part fear and three parts labor pains.
The man on the bench panics. He rubs at the peach juice on his trousers. He looks at his watch and wonders if he has time to change his trousers before the bus arrives. He looks at his watch and wonders if he has time to change his trousers before the bus arrives. He looks at his watch and wonders.
The plane nosedives. The oxygen masks drop. Flashing lights and buzzing buzzes, screaming engines and passengers. The man climbs over the seats in search of the flight attendant. He finds her wedged in a serving cart. She is crying.
The woman in the tub calls for help. The peeping Tom climbs in through the window. He takes the woman’s hand and tells her to push. His eyes are silly, but kind. His mustache wiggles friendly. The woman squeezes his hand. She pushes.
The man on the bench sees the bus coming. He looks at his trousers. He rubs them. He looks at his trousers. He rubs them. Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god.
The man on the plane moves close to the flight attendant’s ear. He confesses he can’t read. She smiles. She holds the back of his neck and whispers into his ear. She says she’s glad she never got breast implants.
The woman in the tub believes that everything happens for a reason. The peeping Tom believes that pregnant women in bathtubs are the most beautiful things in the world.
The man on the bench pulls off his trousers. The bus chirps to a stop. The driver knows the man. You can get on, he says. But next time don’t wear a thong.
The man on the plane kisses the flight attendant. She kisses him back. The plane crashes.
The woman in the tub relaxes. The baby swims to the surface.
